In my line of work I stay at a lot of hotels.  I have stayed at posh hotels as well as rat holes….  I am a smoker ( I know , I know it’s bad for me get off my case already…) and it is getting harder and harder for me to find a room.  Now get this hotel establishments:  I do not smoke in my home I smoke outside however I know that I will not be stabbed and or mugged outside my safe fenced in backyard.  With that in mind I am very picky when choosing a hotel.  I LOVE the Hilton chain.  I currently have over 280,000 points with them which I am saving to go on a Disney trip next year with the family.  They have smoking rooms!!!! 

I rank the Hilton number one, Embassy Suites-two, Homewood Suites-three, Hampton Inn-4, and then the Doubletree-5.  Why is the Doubletree last on the HIlton list?  It all stems back to a time when I clearly had a smoking room booked in a large city and they gave it away to another customer!  Boy was I pissed…  How could you give my room away when I clearly booked it way in advance, I’m a diamond member, and I was told that I would have it when I clicked the little button and your took my credit card as a hold for the room.  I was so enraged that I called the diamond member services and they set me up in a neighboring hotel that had a smoking room for me. 

When I’m on the road I work late into the evening.  I usually set up shop on the bed or at the desk plugging away at my computer chain smoking, drinking coffee with the T.V. on in the background or my IPod jamming.  Either way I am not going to stop what I am doing, get dressed (out of my jammies) and go outside for a smoke…where you never know who may be out there lerking to bum a smoke from me, ask for money, rape me, or just plain bug the crap out of me.  No thanks!  For this reason Doubletree is the lowest on my list of Hilton Hotels.  I also love their grab and go breakfast in the morning, their cute little computer lap desk at the Hampton, and how great the customer service is when they find out that I am a diamond member.  What can I say I love the ass kissing….  When I am offered an upgrade you may as well have offered me a winning lottery ticket!  I am all over it.  I love the exra ammenities, snacks, jacuzzi tub and anything else that you can throw at me to make me feel like I am a Queen.   Just call me Paris because I love Hilton baby .

If I can’t find a Hilton then I will stay anywhere BUT Marriott.  I use to like the Marriott chain until the went all snooty and decided that they would become all NON-SMOKING.  It’s like they became Florida or California or something.  Fine, I will take my money somewhere else. 

A few tips to remember when you are staying at a hotel: 

1.  Usually the tem is too cold or too hot the gauge is on the wall next to the bathroom.  You can find it there

2.  Place all of your bathroom items on a towel so that you won’t forge them.

3.  Store valuable items and medications in a safe if one is available.  You never know what could happen….

4.  If it is daylight savings time make sure the clock is the right time, many times the hotel staff forgets to change the clocks (found that out last night in Ohio, I was an hour ahead but they forgot to se the clocks back for daylight savings.)

5.  Set your alarm and ask for a wake up call this ensures you will not be late.

6.  Ask for extra coffee packets if you will be working late at night (creamer and sugar too)

7.  Tip housekeeping

8.  Don’t forget your shoes, socks, any extra clothing that may be in drawers or under the bed (they like to hang out there for some reason….)

9.  Don’t forget your cell phone charger or computer cord!

10.  If you order room service the tip is usually included on the bill however they want you to leave the tray out by the door.  This is because the housekeeper that cleans the room has to do double duty if they are cleaning your tray as well!  If you leave it in your room leave them an extra tip!

11.  Don’t be shy to ask for an upgrade, many hotels have the rooms available but offer them to Members first.  Who knows maybe your night not many members are staying!

12.  Don’t know a good place to eat?  The front desk always know!

13.  Be sure to hide your GPS in the hotel parking lot.  Theives like to find goodies while you are sleeping.  How else did you find the hotel???

14  Don’t put your hotel key next to your cell phone this can make the magnetic stip very angry…

15.  Need to print your boarding pass?  Many hotels have a buisness center that you can use.  If they charge a fee I always use the excuse that the printer doesn’t work at the front desk this usually gets me a free copy .  You can use that for a fax as well! 

Happy Travels Everyone…